Once upon a time, the devil orchestrated church directory pictures

Once upon a time, the devil decided to torment godly women everywhere with church directory pictures. At first, these women bought into the lie. For instance, every pastor's wife loves the concept of a book with pictures and names of all the people she is making casseroles for (and eating casseroles from). In fact, some ministry families that I know (not my family of course...) keeps a directory handy as bathroom reading material. Upon arriving at a new church, the directory could be used for memorization exercises, and the pastor and his wife might even quiz one another on the names with the help of the handy directory.

So it sounds like a splendid idea, right?

Well, that's until you have to actually get ready on picture day. There's the whole problem of if you should dress in matching clothes or if that will look cheesy. After all, this picture will probably be in the homes of everyone you know for at least the next 15-20 years. In fact, your next church directory picture will likely have more wrinkles, more gray hair, and well... some excess sagging, if you get my drift. So you want to make the most of it!

The only problem is that moms (not me, of course) forget to include important items in directory wardrobe preparations. For example, moms (again... not me) might not remember that sons actually needs shoes that match the outfits. Moms might even forget to buy dark socks for the son. Some moms forget to purchase panty hose, so they end up begging the photographer to take pictures from the waist up only... please. Because pasty legs are not the way she wants to go down in church history.

About an hour before the dreaded portrait appointment, the poor mom might end up yelling and screaming at every living, breathing object within her path. She could even be heard hollaring things like "Where did I put my dadgum lipstick?!" or "You CAN NOT wear a pink princess crown in the pictures!" or "PLEASE do not color your face with a sharpie right now. Wait a couple hours, okay?"

Not that I know anything about that.

Because church directory pictures are just a blessing in my life, got it?

And here is the proof.

*Notice that tears are wiped away, pasty legs are hidden, sharpie disasters are avoided, and there's not a princess crown in sight! Yep, you can congratulate me later.