A Broken Heart

Prayer is important. I am really under conviction in the past few days that my prayer life is not what it needs to be. In the month of December, I've let God cleanse my heart of some of the dust bunnies in the corners. It's funny how little sins can accumulate over the years when you aren't watching closely. Apathy, unforgiveness, and the laundry list goes on and on. It never fails that when we bring our sins before Him and we confess them and repent, it opens up a whole new level in our walk. It's like a "sin block" has been lifted sometimes. We are just more in tune with Him, more sensitive to His voice.

As I've been listening to His voice, He has convicted me about my lack of brokenness. Just yesterday, I listened as Josh preached about Daniel's prayer life. When you read Daniel's prayers in the Bible, he is a man who truly cared about people. Like Job and other heroes of the faith, Daniel took his prayer life seriously. Prayer in the Bible wasn't just a bowed head and a few quickly uttered words before bed time. Real effective prayers were accompanied by a sense of mourning. These prayers involved a broken heart.

Last night during the invitation at church, I was reminded that I need that kind of a broken heart. When was the last time I saw people around me through spiritual eyes. When was the last time I looked at a stranger, realizing the spiritual needs that exist under the surface? When was the last time I really mourned for the lost in my neighborhood? Does it actually make me sad when I think about those who live in my little town who don't know Jesus? Do I even care that they are bound for hell if someone doesn't share the gospel with them?

You see, I have realized that I need a broken heart. Time is precious and our days on this earth are numbered. The Lord drove the point home just last night, when I heard the news that a 13 year old girl that has been attending our church through the bus ministry had died two days before Christmas. One second she was probably laughing with her brother in the car, the next it was all blackness. How many times had I passed that girl in the aisle at church? How many times did I walk by her on my way to shake hands with a deacon? How many times did I overlook her? And now where is she? Josh knew her immediately and recalled leading her to the Lord during Bible School. But I didn't even recognize her picture.

I need a broken heart. I need to really see those around me, to notice them. I need to mourn for the lost and dying in my community.

I need my prayer life to reflect my brokenness.

Brokenness, brokenness is what I long for

Brokenness, brokenness is what I need

Brokenness, Brokenness is what You want from me.

Take my heart and form it,

Take my mind, transform it,

Take my will, conform it,

to Yours, to Yours, oh Lord.